hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Can I color on your dick again?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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