Me. At least after what I've been through.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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