I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
