Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
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Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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