just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
