By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Randomize
