Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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