what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
So squirting runs in the family.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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