I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
