How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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