i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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