I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
