She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
