also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
