u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
