It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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