When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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