i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
