I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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