did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa