I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
21 Signs That A Dude is Probably Insane
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.