And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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