is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
