I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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