69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Text me some of your sweat
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
