Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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