awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
