Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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