So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
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They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
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In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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