well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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