i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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