You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
