That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Couch. On fire.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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