Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
