their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
