Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Randomize
