Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
