You made me cry and you don't even care
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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