Rock
Scissors
Fuck
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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