brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
