Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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