My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
