Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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