Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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