Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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