Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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