I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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