He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
no you cant smoke seaweed
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
They took my balls.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
