capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
