So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
