Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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