that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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