I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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