It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
They have beer where we have blood.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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