Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
