Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
