I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
