new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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