we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
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